Diego's Guide to Mexico City

Forget the tourist traps. This is how the locals (and the gays) actually do CDMX.

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The Zona Rosa Reality Check

Yes, Zona Rosa is the "gay neighborhood." Yes, you'll end up there. And yes, it's kind of a hot mess. But here's the thing – embrace it. Thursday nights at Kinky are legendary. Just don't show up before midnight unless you want to drink alone with the bartender (actually, they're cute, so maybe do that).

Roma & Condesa: Where the Cool Kids Pretend They're Not Tourists

These neighborhoods are disgustingly pretty. Tree-lined streets, art deco buildings, coffee shops where everyone looks like they're working on a screenplay. The gays here are a bit more low-key – think afternoon mezcal dates at Baltra Bar rather than 3am club chaos. My move? Start at Mercado Roma for some overpriced-but-delicious tacos, then wander until you find trouble.

Look, I've lived in Mexico City for five years and I'm still discovering new spots that make me fall in love with this chaotic, beautiful mess of a city all over again. This isn't your basic "top 10 things to do" guide. This is the real shit.

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Pro Tip

Download Uber and DiDi before you arrive. Taxis are fine but apps are safer and you won't get gringo-priced. Trust me on this one.

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Watch Out

The altitude is real. CDMX sits at 7,350 feet. Your first few days you might feel tired, get headaches, or find yourself weirdly winded walking up stairs. Take it easy, hydrate like crazy, and maybe skip the tequila shots on night one. Maybe.

The Apps Situation

Grindr works. Scruff works better. But honestly? The energy here is different. People actually want to grab a drink first. Revolutionary concept, I know. Set your location to Roma Norte and watch your grid fill up with guys who have actual faces in their photos. Progress!

Diego's Non-Negotiables

1. Eat street tacos at 2am after the club. Pastor with piña. Don't argue with me.

2. Take a Sunday morning to walk Chapultepec Park. It's massive, it's gorgeous, and the people-watching is elite.

3. Learn enough Spanish to flirt. "Eres muy guapo" will get you surprisingly far.

4. Skip Teotihuacan if you only have a weekend. Yeah, the pyramids are cool, but so is not spending 4 hours in traffic.

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The Real Talk

CDMX is generally very gay-friendly, especially in Roma, Condesa, and Zona Rosa. PDA is common. That said, use common sense – this is still a massive city. Stay in well-lit areas at night, don't flash expensive stuff around, and maybe don't get blackout drunk alone.

Now stop reading and go book your flight. CDMX is waiting, and she doesn't like to be kept waiting.